


Between Times

by abirdonalilactree



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Friendship, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 15:17:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abirdonalilactree/pseuds/abirdonalilactree
Summary: Follow Crowley and Aziraphale and some of the other Angels and Demons from before the Beginning of time until after the End of it.Friends to strangers to friends to enemies back to friends and eventually to lovers -slow burn. Yes, I do intend to write the slowest slowburn of them all!





	1. Before the fall

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own most of the characters.  
I don't get paid for this.

> _“When everything was beautiful and nothing hurt...” _
> 
> _― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five_

_ **Once upon a time…** _

**…When time wasn’t invented yet…**

  


There was a lot of peace and quiet everywhere. The clouds were white, the sun was shining and the air tasted fresh and new and clean. The angels were drawing sketches of animals and plants and stars, whispering with each other about how beautiful everything and anything was and would be.

But it shouldn't stay this way.   
Because it never does.   
Because it wasn't supposed to.   
Because the only constant in life is change.   
-Which is an important thing to remember, because change is the only thing that brings you from one place to another. Forwards and sideways and in some cases backwards. Lines, curves and sometimes circles. But always moving.

  
Some angels got nervous. Some got jumpy. Some fuzzy.

They were buzzing around aimlessly. Like bees, which would be invented soon. And just as graceful.  
They were vibrating uncertainty.

The angels started to form groups, soon.

Friendships and partnerships evolved.

Some feelings even got beyond the feeling of close friendship.

One certain Angel for one had developed a crush on one chubby angel since- well, since even before the beginning of times.

It was the very first school girl crush, long before schoolgirls were even invented.

Aziraphale of course, although he admired the other angels’ warm gold and friendly eyes and his long hair, sometimes like fire and sometimes like blood and who could make him laugh and giggle and would talk with him and listen to him and make his stomach fill with freshly invented butterflies and his smile that could make you feel like the whole room lit up, was completely oblivious.

But they had bonded over creating the universe. Made the stars and the sky together. Our Angel invented red dwarfs and white dwarfs and pulsars and planets and dwarf planets and moons. And Aziraphale made every kind of bird that would only come out in the night, like the barn owl, the short-eared owl, the long-eared owl, the great horned owl, the spotted owl, the elf owl, the great grey owl and all sorts of night hawks and even some bats. –all of them creatures of the darkness, so they would be able to gaze upon the night sky and admire its beauty.

Anyway, now the angels had something in between a meeting and a date planned and you don't have to ask who would like to call it which.

So our Angel sat there waiting for Aziraphale, on a soft cloud like cotton candy that was turning violet from the setting sun, and dreamed of all sorts of things.

Not far from him, there were two other angels sitting together and giggling. They both had dark skin with golden patterns and dark eyes. He could see that one was drawing a small dragon-like creature. While the other one admired both -the sketch and the first angel.

Since Science hadn't been invented yet, our Angel wondered what caused the cloud to change its colour after they had turned them white.

The sun set and now the cloud underneath him was dark blue.

He miracled it back to white.

And then his thoughts found their way back to his beautiful angel. 

Since lunch wasn't invented yet, they hadn't much opportunity to have other hobbies than stargazing, which they now had planned to do. -If Aziraphale would finally show up.

In some distance the annoying sounds of someone who couldn't play the harp could be heard. It was probably Gabriel, who enjoyed practicing between their shifts.

Well, everyone had gotten a harp on their first day, but no one really knew how to play them. 

Why would they even want them to play?  
What purpose did it have?

It sounded even worse when everyone at the same time decided to try the instrument. 

Most had soon given up.

Aziraphale had accidently sat on his one, but he wasn't entirely sure if it hadn't been on purpose after all. Later he would claim that he hadn't been assigned a harp after all.  


Our angel tried to ignore the unfortunate noise, as it came closer.  
There were other things to think about.  
This time our Angel wanted to surprise Aziraphale with the freshly made moons of Jupiter -there were a few more than 79 and he especially liked the four bigger ones, Europa, Ganymed, Kalisto and Io, -Galileo would many years later be the human to discover them. They were nice to look at, he thought. Messier 25, which was a star cluster close to the centre of the Milky Way was also freshly made. But his favourite thing of all were shooting stars. He was as close to proud of these creations as was allowed. It would be quite romantic to look at them together, he hoped. Everything was nice, as long as Aziraphale was there.

He looked up smiling brightly as he felt someone approaching him. 

His smile faltered as he recognised Michael.

"You are waiting for someone.", Michael stated sternly without any word of greeting.

"Aziraphale. Do you know where he is?", Our Angel answered.

"You spend an awful lot of time together.", Michael stated, ignoring his question.

"I enjoy his presence immensely. Why do you ask?"

"I see." Again she seemed like she didn't hear him.

"I... I like the way he smiles.", Our Angel said quietly after a pause.

And suddenly he felt something he would, many years later, define as the feeling of guilt.

"Do... Do you think god would approve, if-"

"It's not allowed to fall in love with another angel.

You should only truly love god herself."

At a distance an angel with hip long silver hair stared at them. His eyes were white. Just white. The irises, the pupils. White. Our Angel had the feeling that the other one was watching Michael, really. He had seen them together now and then. Whispering, sometimes quietly fighting. What Michael now has said, didn’t make sense.  
Didn't make any sense to him at all.

"Why?", Our Angel asked.

"You are not supposed to.", Michael said fiercely.

Our Angel stumbled backwards in sudden fear, almost colliding with another angel.

This angel had black short hair and was smaller than the other ones. They were surrounded by all sorts of tiny insects.  
Lady bugs, colourful dragon flies and fireflies.  
The short angel apologized and then went over to Gabriel who still was playing the harp badly. And the insects followed them, like ducklings follow a mother duck.  
They seemed like they were summoned by the music, smiling absently, although the sounds could many years later described as those of an old elevator screeching downwards, its brakes broken.  


"It doesn't make any sense at all. Why-"

Michael glared at him. He hesitated.

Then there suddenly was another strange sound.

It was like an explosion, when the first angel fell.  
The sky turned first orange, then red and the ground was shaking.

Our angel looked around.  
Where was the short one?  
The lady bugs, colourful dragon flies and fireflies transformed into small black fruit flies as they followed their master downwards.

Everything was shaking.

A second one fell.  
Michael ran over to Uriel who still grasped the hand of the angel who she had been drawing with.  
But he was pulled down with great force through the clouds and far underneath.  
Uriel screamed as the hand slipped through her fingers.  
Michael held her as she started to sob uncontrollably on her knees.

Now they hit the ground like comets.

The next ones fell.

  
The angel with the white eyes was gone.  
It smelled of burned hair as whiteness was sucked into darkness.  
Our angel could feel fear and sorrow radiating from Michael, while her features stayed neutral.  
Like it didn't concern her.

There were feathers in the air.

Screaming and crying could be heard.

It smelled of sulphur and burned feathers.

Our Angel could feel their pain. He sunk to his knees. The cloud felt cold and wet.

  
Where was Aziraphale?  
Was he safe?  
He prayed, that Aziraphale was somewhere else in safety.

Then he could hear Gabriel shout something in Michaels direction. The other angel shook her head.

Our Angel couldn't make out the words anymore. Everything was beyond any sense.

"Why would they do that?", he yelled over the raging noise.

He shouted at no one in particular but at the same time at everyone and god herself.  


Then he had a sinking feeling in the place where soon a heart would pound.

His wings darkened, as the clouds opened underneath him.

He could feel himself saunter vaguely downwards.

Losing a tiny bit of memory with every inch he approached hell.

  


Underneath the clouds a snake slithered away, angry, scared, confused.  
His head felt light and empty the second before he hit the ground and was absorbed into a world of burning and pain.

The clouds had been invented way before rain. And it had been a good laugh, when an animal like a cloud but with four legs was created.

Now the clouds were dark and threatening above.

The frightened sheep underneath hid between the trees.

When everything calmed down, the silence was too loud. So unnerving it almost hurt.

Then the light changed from orange back to a friendly shade of violet.

And the clouds were like cutton candy again. Soft and sweet and harmless.  


Both sides, heaven and hell were in shock, unable to grasp what just happened.  


It was the silence that had woken up Aziraphale. He had fallen asleep over a first attempt what would later look like a writing.

The angel wouldn't fall asleep again for the next many hundred years. Because he else would have the feeling to miss something important.  
Sleep could be a waste of time, he decided.

He stumbled towards the place where he was supposed to meet our now fallen Angel.

Aziraphale looked left and right.

Walked in a circle.

Called our Angel’s name.

Again and again and again.

The other angels stared at him.

But no one answered.

He was gone.

  
Gabriel looked at the harp in his hands. He looked like he had just forgotten something. With a confused expression, he left the harp on the ground and walked in a different direction.

Uriel stood up from the ground, cleaned her knees and wondered why her face was wet.

Michael let go of Uriels arm and observed her surroundings. Why was Uriel sad? And hadn't she been in the middle of arguing with someone?

The snake looked up to the clouds.

A single tear rolled down its dark green and scaly cheek.

Finally, the blond angel got to the edge of heaven and looked down. There was a lot of green and a lot of movement and he marvelled at its beauty. He started to forget. Just like the other angels. It was like fog clouding their minds.  
Aziraphale sat down at the edge of a cloud and watched the movements on earth.

There were sheep that looked like the clouds above them. Fruit flies that were without order. Giraffes. A Zebra. A Frog. A sad snake. 

He would meet this snake in the Garden of Eden.

Soon.


	2. 4004 BC -Eden

> _ "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to always tell the difference." _   
**\- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five, Chapter 3**

The soil was dry and soft and it made him feel like he needed to sneeze. Where the sunrays had creeped through leaves and branches, the ground was hot.

He liked that feeling and at the same time it made him so uncomfortable. With a tickly nose, he slithered up a tree. It felt scratchy.

The wind gently shook the branches.

It was almost soothing. Calming.

And at the same time it made him anxious.

He didn’t dare to look down.

From one of the branches closer to the sky he watched Adam and Eve.

Adam said something, and she smiled. Then he kissed her hand. He could hear her melodic laughter from a distance. They walked around. Collected branches. Petted a giraffe.

The snake wondered, when the angel of the eastern gate would come back to talk to the humans. He seemed to visit them regularly between shifts. And he always had something for them. Small gifts. Like a necklace made of tiny shells or food like berries or some vegetables.

He had seen Aziraphale being friends with Eve.

Making her laugh, but with his words. He could see him saying something and then smile awkwardly.

He wanted to hear these words, but he hadn't come close enough. Had feared it for a reason he couldn't quite explain just yet.

..._Aziraphale_. 

How did he know his name?

Where did it come from?

Maybe Eve had mentioned him to Adam. Yes. Surely.

She must have.

Sometimes the angel would help them prepare their food. Cut vegetables with the flaming sword.

Would help them out when they needed it.

Aziraphale seemed to like entertaining the couple. He would talk for hours.

Sometimes they cared for the animals together. 

And most importantly he seemed to like food. He talked to the plants, when Eve or Adam weren’t close. 

They obviously were good friends.

_Friends_.

He wanted to be her friend, too.

This had several reasons.

Because Eve seemed like a pleasant person.

Because she was a nice and friendly human.

-Because Eve was a friend of the angel of the eastern gate.

_ If _ he were a friend of Eve, then he could also spend time with his angel again. Just hang out in a group, casually and-

Wait ... ... _his_ angel ... ... _again_?

Where did  _ that _ come from?

He tried to remember, but there was nothing but the shadow of a feeling.

Something small and warm at the back of his mind, like a sense of belonging.

Like a sense of home.

~~~

He waited long for the right opportunity. 

He waited a long time.

It was a long time, because time wasn’t really old just yet.

He invented lurking in the shadows while he waited.

To find her alone. 

_ Vulnerable? _

- _ Why would he think that? _

_ ~~~ _

The snake enjoyed lurking between trees and slithering through the warm sand.

He liked sunrays.

There wasn’t much sun… underneath.

Underneath wasn’t a warm place.

It was cold and wet. Even back then.

Despite the chaos it reminded him of something. He liked to call that something ‘before’.

Someone gave orders. Everyone else had to obey.

And that was the tea. Or it would be. Sometime later.

The freshly made demon got the order to cause some mischief and then got sent back, immediately. An order by Lord Beelzebub themself who seemed in the first days underneath a bit disorganised. But they had somehow known, that he would prefer to stay on earth and no one else had wanted the job. He didn’t dare to say that it was nice. But it was really nice to stay up there and not underneath.

But now he had to think of a mischief.

“Oh, hello there, snake.”, a voice close to him suddenly said.

The snake didn’t answer, but stared.

The angel and guardian of the eastern gate Aziraphale smiled at him. Then he leaned down and petted his head.

The demon felt like he was discorporating. But he didn’t. Instead the angel just stopped for a moment and looked confused at his hand, like he had burnt his fingers. Then he walked away like nothing had happened.

  
  


_ ~~~ _

One day -there she was.

Alone. And close to the centre of the garden.

“And what kind of creature are you? You don’t really walk and you don’t really swim. Do you? You crawl. And this is nice.”

The snake tilted its head.

“I’ll call you Crawly, because you crawl so nicely.”

She carefully touched his head, which took him a bit by surprise.

Eve smiled kindly at the snake, as it started to speak.

He whispered words to her. Something luring. Something like a promise.

First she looked confused, shook her head in fear, looked at the sky worriedly, and it took him an awful lot of convincing, but then she agreed.

Crawly wasn’t nice. Not in that sense. At least he thought so. But if she saw the difference between good and evil, maybe they could become friends.

It must be intersting, having a good friend and a bad friend. Much more fun. Much more oportunities.

~~~[]~~~

He saw Aziraphale standing above the eastern gate.

His wings were white and seemed to shimmer in the fading sunlight. 

Except for… It seemed like one of his feathers had turned grey. Maybe it was the age. Because what was age back then? Even then they were as old as time and older.

The demon didn't need to see his features to know that he looked worried.

Crawly couldn't help but worry, too.

It hadn't been his intention to get them kicked out of Eden.

It was a bit of an overreaction, really.

But there had been a job. And it could be called a success. The first in the history of hell.

The downside was that he now wouldn’t be friends with Eve.

But the upside was that he was now talking to Aziraphale anyway.

Somewhere outside the gates he could hear a howl.

~~~[]~~~

After his conversation with Aziraphale and after the rain had stopped, he slithered back, up his favourite tree.

"I gave it away."

He still heard these words in his head. They repeated them self again and again and again. Said with the confidence of someone who wasn't quite sure if he had done the right thing.

An act of kindness he hadn't expected.

But also something, that could prove to be foolish in the future. 

It could be dangerous for a mortal to run around with a flaming sword. He could hurt himself badly. He could hurt others by accident.

And still it was a sort of rebellion. It was a part of his new nature to like any kind of rebellion against upstairs. But on the other side again…

For a moment he feared for Aziraphale to fall like him, didn't want him to experience the pain like him, to suffer like him. The burning. And then the coldness.

On the other hand, if he was supposed to fall he would have done so already. Wouldn’t he?

God seemed like the kind of being that liked to get things done in the morning.

The snake had taught them the difference between good and evil.

What if  _ he _ had done the right thing?

Changed the future that lay ahead of them so uncertain and unclear and wonderful and exciting. Could someone fall from hell?

When would they meet again?

_ "I gave it away." _

Despite everything it had been the exact moment, he had really fallen in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked this chapter.


	3. 3004 BC -Noahs' Ark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: math -but it’s only a small paragraph and you can totally skip it, if it would give you nightmares.

> _“The sea looked as if it had been licked clean, blue and clear and smooth, and there were a few woolly little clouds in the sky. Legend said that these clouds were sheep who had simply wandered over the cliff tops one day, special sheep who now went on grazing in the sky and were never shorn. In any case, they were a good sign.”_

> ** _― Leonie Swann, Three Bags Full_ **

** _~~~_ **

They met again a few years later, after another overreaction, as Crowley liked to call it.

“You can’t kill children.”, he had said, snake eyes wide open.

Not even a demon would kill a child. Why kill something when they wouldn’t go to hell, anyway? Something that couldn’t even defend itself. It just wasn’t logical. It wasn’t fair either, he thought. But only very quietly for himself.

Aziraphale had looked so helpless.

But he hadn’t agreed with the demon. At least he hadn’t said it out loud.

Although something had been in the angels' beautiful eyes. Maybe. Crowley liked to imagine that it was doubt. Still, he knew that having exactly that could be extremely dangerous.

One doesn’t simply doubt the great plan.

Crowley wanted to save the children. He really did. The reason why he wanted to do that was far apart from any comprehension.

It couldn’t be that wrong or right or whatever, really.

Only that way the children could grow old… and be… bad and ultimately go to hell.

And that should be hells’ only concern, anyway.

Right? Wrong?

But how? How?

He observed the Ark from every side. It was huge.

Much bigger than a house. And much bigger than a sand dune. And much bigger than… than an Elephant or something.

There should be more than enough space for everything and more. Also, the unicorn was still missing.

An idea started to form, as he observed the Ark carefully. There were a lot of animals and no one was paying as much attention to them as they should. An unicorn had already gotten away, anyway. Maybe- just maybe this could also work the other way around.

_The Ark measured 300 50 30 cubits which will later get stated in Genesis 6:15, and this is about 140 23 13.5 metres or 459 75 44 feet, so its volume was 43,500 m or 1.54 million cubic feet. (To put this in perspective, this is the equivalent carrying capacity of 340 semitrailer truck, which would be invented many years later, each of which can hold 300 125-pound sheep. This would be a line six lanes wide and half a mile long and it would be 37,000 pound or 18,500kg of creature in total.)_

Yes. There should be enough space.

~~~

Aziraphale felt bad. He felt as bad as he never did before. He felt even too bad to listen to his conscience, which tried to tell him something. It couldn’t be that important, though. The fresh air didn’t really make it better.

The angel of the eastern gate was the first one to discover seasickness.

On the third evening, Aziraphale sat outside between a flamingo and a gazelle, and tried to keep the contents of his dinner where it belonged.

“Angel, are you ok?”, the demon Crowley suddenly stood between him and the flamingo.

The flamingo watched him suspiciously, with his head tilted.

“Oh, I’m fine.”, Aziraphale answered bravely.

“Are you sure? The light makes you look a bit greenish.”

The angel tried not to stare at the demons long and probably soft hair in the wind and falling into his eyes.

“Maybe a bit tired.”, Aziraphale said, clinging onto the railing.

“Tired?”

“Tired.”

Crowley had never seen an angel getting sick before. Maybe it was gods' anger that made it that way. Maybe it was something entirely different. Either way, the demon was worried.

It was a huge ark. There were near to no waves at all. Which meant, the floor was practically not shaking any bit. Aziraphale glanced at him, help to seek. The angel sighed dramatically once more.

“I’ll make you some ginger tea.”, the demon finally said.

“I’ll feel miserable till the end of-”

“You’ll be fine in two or three days, trust me.”, the demon assured him.

Aziraphale took a step forward, then let himself fall against the railing again and got even greener if possible.

“What did you eat?”, Crowley asked as he took the angel carefully by the arm.

“Tuna with-.”, Aziraphale admitted reluctantly.

“Bad idea.” He shook his head.

Aziraphale flinched at the word ‘bad’.

“Let’s go inside, ok?” The demon half carried him inside. His hands felt cold. But also his touch was strangely calming . And maybe just a little bit nice.

“What do you usually do to calm yourself down, angel?”, he asked reluctantly.

This made the angel jump a bit, and he looked to the ceiling with a pinch of guilt, as they slowly walked down the stairs and deeper into the Ark.

“I read or write something.”

“You should stop that.”

“I will do no such thing.” Aziraphale ripped his arm away and a moment later he grabbed for Crowley again, because he almost fell over a middle-sized rat.

“I mean you should stop that as long as you feel bad.”

He brought the angel of the eastern gate back to his cabin which he shared with four different breeds of pigeon and also two friendly brown chickens.

Snuggled into a blanket Aziraphale asked: “Will you read something for me? Please?”

Crowley hesitated. Warm eyes begged him silently.

But then he grabbed a scroll that was lying next to Aziraphale’s bed. How could he say ‘no’? The angel looked at him expectantly. The scroll was made of dried leafs and the tiny symbols looked like they were written with blood.

Since the demon couldn’t read, he improvised.

He sat down next to the angel of the eastern gate- not too close, not too far- opened the scroll from the wrong side and said: “In the beginning…”

Aziraphale closed his eyes and smiled so sweetly, that it made Crowley almost forget how words work. But he took a deep breath and continued his story bravely.

Crowley kept talking quietly over the singing of some budgies, the yawning of a tiger, the cheeping of a degu, until his angel calmed down enough, to not sleep but dream. After he had made sure that the angel was feeling better, the demon left him alone, although he desperately wanted to stay. But he had other things to do. Important things.

~~~

Aziraphale had rested for hours and was now refreshed.

The angel felt much stronger, although still a bit shaky. But now he was bored and he had been thinking about the demon for a while, now. And for some reason he couldn’t explain, he just wanted to see him again. Preferably sooner than later.

“Crawley? Where are you? Could you… mayhaps… read me another story, please?”, Aziraphale shouted as loud as he dared, which wasn’t very loud, as he approached the section where there were the zebras, and some apes and also a few butterflies. It was quite dark. Only a few candles lit this section.

“Wait a moment, angel. Don’t come here.” He sounded nervous.

“Is something wrong, my dear boy?”, Aziraphale asked and went there, anyway.

“-Oh hello, who are you?” The young girl that had been smiling at him as he almost bumped into her, ran and hid behind Crowley.

He stared at a terrified demon surrounded by small children, mouth agape. Two were holding his hands and one was sitting on his shoulders, badly braiding his long hair with tiny and probably not very clean fingers. In the background they heard a hog making some unhappy sounds.

“What did you do?”, Aziraphale almost hissed.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”, Crowley said.

“I’m talking about the children. Where do they come from?”

“Oh.. hey… I haven’t even noticed.”

“Crawley…” Aziraphale crossed his arms. Then he uncrossed them again, because he needed them for stability. He felt himself getting sick again. Was the floor getting shakier?

“You can’t kill children.”, the demon finally said softly.

“WE CAn’t- can’t keep them here.” He toned down, as the small girl sitting on Crowley's shoulders started crying.

“What do you intend to do? Throw them overboard? Does the ineffable plan tell you to do that?”

For a moment their eyes were locked.

“…” Aziraphale then sighed and fixed his gaze on the floorboards as the demon glared at him -glarefully.

“What now, angel?”

“No, I don’t –Do you even know how to take care of children?”

“Do you?”, Crowley asked sarcastically.

“No, I don’t…”

“Me neither.”, the demon sighed.

Aziraphale watched the kids hold Crowley's hands and hide behind him. They were afraid of the angel. After a moment of careful consideration, ha decided, that he didn’t want them to fear an angel. He was supposed to be the good one.

“Do you think about snitching?”, Crowley asked. Hie voice sounded somehow hurt

“No, I- I thought, that we both don’t know how to take care of children, but maybe we could learn it together.”

First, the demon felt like he was petrified, but then he said: “If you want to… yeah. Whatever. You could look for something to feed them. And maybe a bit of clean water. Sidonie over there really wants to see the unicorn. I’ll go with her and show her, if you keep an eye on the others for a while, because I can’t take all of them there, because Elijah over there is scared of horses and I don’t know how he will react to a unicorn.”

Aziraphale nodded.

They’ve never taken care of living beings, before. Not really. But they learned quickly and all the children survived in the end.

Crowley in snake form would curl around the children to keep them warm.

Aziraphale would cook something nutritious to eat. He would eat most of it, but there also would be more than enough for the children.

And they would talk.

Tell stories in a stormy night to calm everyone down. But mostly the angel, because the shaking of the ark really didn’t make him feel good. Still his stomach would get upset from time to time.

These sessions of late night story telling would later result in Aziraphales love for books.

“I’m glad, you were there.”, Aziraphale said one night quietly, as they watched over the children sleeping.

Crowley didn’t answer. He picked up a beautiful feather of a parakeet and gently put it in Aziraphales’ hair.

“I gave the Mammoths’ ration to the children. I mean… it’s a huge animal. It should be fine without one dinner.”, he said after a while, casually.

Then the angel wondered, when the last time was, that he fed the mammoths. Na, it couldn’t be this long ago.

The Ark would have a little fewer passengers when it arrived than when it started sailing.

But the children would all survive and grow to be adults. Raised by an angel and a demon, all of them got to be fundamentally human.

~~~

Lurking between the goats, there was a second demon which none of the other beings really noticed. Well, even then, he had smelled bad, but to be completely honest, everywhere on the Ark it smelled pretty bad. Between lurking sessions he enjoyed scaring the birds. There were a few penguins, he really didn’t like. One had bitten his hand, when he tried to pet it. Therefor Hastur made the penguin stop flying. All the other birds hated him for that.

And sometimes he also scared some children. But. Weren’t there more than there were supposed to be?

One time he saw the demon Crawly holding the hand of a small girl with long black hair as she cried. After a while she stopped crying as he talked to her calmingly and fell asleep in Crowley's arms. This confused Hastur. Why would he do that?

This was the first time when Hastur suspected something.

Because something wasn’t right. Or something wasn’t wrong. Or whatever.

He didn’t like it. Something was going on. Something fishy. And it wasn’t the fish. They naturally stayed outside of the Ark. Because why would you have a fish on an Ark?

He couldn’t prove it though. The good or bad thing. Just yet. He didn’t know how.

But he was lurking in the shadows. Ready.

Still, he was new to the job, but he gave his best and already could do an impressive amount of lurking in a day or preferably at night.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I wrote about seasickness is true.
> 
> Seasick, one becomes because there is a so-called “sensory miss match “. The passengers will receive contradictory sensations. They see their cabin as rigid space, while they at the same time feel the fluctuations. The brain has difficulties to place the conflicting information from the sense organs.
> 
> You shouldn’t eat histamine-containing food such as tuna or salami. Generally, you should eat more light-hearted and not drink alcohol. A full stomach is just as bad as an empty one.
> 
> Ginger helps if you can’t take medicine.
> 
> [source: https/www.t-online.de/leben/reisen/kreuzfahrten/id_72671508/was-hilft-bei-seekrankheit-einfache-tipps-zum-vorbeugen.html] (Sorry, I read this on a german side.)
> 
> But I think, you shouldn’t get seasick on an Ark, because it is not that shaky? I mean I’m not telling you what to do. From personal experience, I can say that I was fine on a ferry and a motorboat, but I got really sick on a Catamaran (Not sure if that’s the right translation- it’s Doppelrumpfboot in german.)
> 
> Congratulations, you might have learned something actually useful in real life.
> 
> Let me know in the comments what tricks you use to not become seasick.
> 
> Measurement of the Ark -source: /how-did-all-the-animals-fit-on-noah-s-ark
> 
> Personal Headcanon: The last and only Unicorn was around until Voldemort ate it.
> 
> Thanks for reading, leave comment if you like and have a good day/ good night.


	4. 48BC -Alexandria

> _“What happened?" he demanded. "I heard an explosion!"_
> 
> _"Yeah. That was me. I set the boat alight."_
> 
> _"What?"_
> 
> _"I set fire to the boat."_
> 
> _"But we're on the boat!"_
> 
> _"I know.”_
> 
> _― **Anthony Horowitz, Skeleton Key**_

~♤~

Aziraphale had the feeling that he was being watched, as he strolled past the shelves. Just a tiny small tingling at the back of his neck. But he couldn’t use his true form with the many terrifying eyes on a wednesday morning in the middle of the library of Alexandria just to see a bit clearer.

The library was part of a larger research institution, called the Mouseion, which was dedicated to the Muses, the nine Godesses of the arts. But it might have also been three. Several writers would later disagree on their number, what would make the six possibly forgotten Godesses quite angry.  
But who could blame them?

Anyway the library had quickly acquired many papyrus scrolls, due to the Ptolemaic kings agressive and well-funded policies for procuring texts.  
The angel of the eastern gate would claim to know nothing about how the library got in the possession of most of the scrolls, if anyone ever came to ask him.

Now Aziraphale looked around the room, but there seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing unusual. Nothing suspicious.  
The feeling stayed, though, lingering in a corner of his mind.

This place was packed with people. Mainly middle-aged men or older men.

But everyone was concentrating on the scrolls, of course. It was really quiet. Just a few hushed words here and there.

Scrolls and shelves and people as far as you could see. You could almost grasp the reverence. The air was packed with the desire for knowledge.  
No one really knew, how many scrolls there where, but it would later be estimated, that there were 40,000 to 400,000.

Aziraphale went to his favourite place in the library. A small wooden table in a quiet corner between shelves. Just enough space to place all the scrolls he wanted to read there.

A sunray beams on the writings in just the right angle. He is pleased with his choice of reading material.

  
The library of Alexandria was not the first one there had been.  
A long tradition of libraries existed in the Ancient Near East. Libraries probably weren't the reason, Aziraphale was around over there, but the other way around. The real reason Aziraphale was in the Ancient Near East, which naturally wasn't called 'Ancient' at the time, was one, the angel of the eastern gate wouldn't be able to explain to heaven if he was asked, which he wasn't. It might or might not have had something to do with another entity, that was wondering around and, to his own surprise, minding his own business most of the time.

The earliest recorded archive of written materials comes from the Ancient Sumerian city state of Uruk in around 3400 BC, when writing had just begun to develop, much to Aziraphales' joy.  
Scholarly curation of text began in around 2500 BC.   
The later kingdoms and empires of the Ancient Near East had long traditions of book collecting. The ancient Hittites and Asyrians had massive archives containing records written in different languages.   
The occurences at the Tower of Babylon had been another overreaction, as Crowley would say.  
The most famous library of the Ancient Near East was the library of Ashurbanipal in Nineveh, founded 800 BC.  
A large library also existed in Babylon, during the reighn of Nebuchadnezzar II  
From 605 to 562 BC.

Now the air tasted like dust and ink and excitement.

Aziraphale sighed contently.

You could hear the rustling of turned papyrus and other paper-like material, footsteps, excited whispering.

Suddenly there was a shadow over the writings that had captured, and brought him into another world.

"Excuse me, but what is that?", a voice said. The tone is angry.

Aziraphale felt like slowly waking up from a dream.  
"What?" He looked up confused and stares in an angry face. The head of the library, he recognised.

"What kind of spots are these?", the angry man lisped.

"They were already there when I got it."

The man took away another scroll from the pile next to Aziraphale.

"You have ripped a side!"

"You can't even see it from there-", Aziraphale laid the papyrus, he had been holding, down gently.

The man grabbed it from him.

"No, you can't return the scrolls like that."

“No-“ -there were now more people watching. Could he just wipe their memory?   
Something held him back.

"There will be more costs. -" The man kept talking and talking, getting red in the face.

Aziraphale panicked. Why did no one help him?

"This is going to get expensive." The librarians’ face was red from anger.

No one had ever been that mean to the principality and angel of the eastern gate. He had to hold himself back to not just to let his true form out.

"Have you any idea, how...?”, the man kept talking. And talking. He spat while talking. 

Aziraphale gave his best to stay polite, while he was in a rage on the inside. The librarians’ offensive breath got much worse, as he neared Aziraphale’s face, still ranting. And spitting.

“You are banned from this library! Lifetime!”, the man finally said.

Aziraphale stood up, and the man was more than a head taller than him.

Why would that matter anyway? It was not like he would be getting into a fistfight. Would he? He shook his head to himself.

“We'll hang a drawing at the entrance with your face on it. Right next to...”

Aziraphale ducked his head as he walked past him. 

"I'll make sure you'll never sat a foot in here again."

Everyone watched quietly when he ran outside.

Whispering and curious glances were following him around town. And a shadow.

Where should he go? He already felt bored and lonely. Slowly his thoughts spiraled back to one special demon.  
He bit his lips, ignoring a merchant who tried to sell him some wonder-medicine.

He wondered what Crowley was up to these days.

He hadn't seen him in a while.

~♧~

Although Aziraphale didn't always see him, Crowley was always close. As close as he dared.

And because of that, he had seen something he really didn't like.

  
He felt himself getting angry.

No one dared to talk like that to his angel!

Crowley would make sure, that this man would never be happy again and he started with talking to the mans’ wife in snake form, telling her that he had seen her husband cheating.  
He also told her some other things.

She went away to become a semi-famous priestess in a tiny village and got together with her childhood-best-friend and they lived together happily ever after in a nice temple.

When the angry librarian came home this day, wife, children and most of the furniture were gone. He never found out why. 

~◇~

Only a few days after these events, the angel and the demon met in the streets in front of the burnt ruins.  
Aziraphale had been on his way to grab some mashed fava beans. He hadn't tried them yet, although he had been told they were quite good.

And Crowley had been chasing a cat.

They decided to walk a few steps together.

“What happened to the library?”, Crowley asked at some point.

"Itburneddown."

"What?"

“Itburneddown.”, Aziraphale repeated in the same pace and volume.

"It burned down? I can see that, too."

“Caesar… his ships… fire…” Aziraphale coughed.

It was the time of Caesar's Civil War, Julius Caesar was besieged at Alexandria.   
And of course in hells books the sign for 'Crowley' stood under the paragraph about Caesars civil war.  
It wasn't really readible.   
Demons often just pretended to know how reading and writing worked.  
Lord Beelzebub knew about the Civil war, because Crowley had told them so. And they have told the other demons. So demons commonly knew what was written in hells books. But no one could really read it. Or write in there.  
Stuff just appeared every once in a while and someone would come up with a story for it. Most times it was Crowley, because he had most of the imagination to do so.

Anyway Caesars soldiers set fire to his own ships while trying to clear the wharves to block the fleet belonging to Cleopatra's brother Ptolemy XIV, who was a friend of Gabriel but that doesn't really matter in this context.

This fire spread to the parts of the city nearest to the docks, causing considerable devastation.

Some would say it had burned like hellfire.  
But no actual demon would say that.

“We should have dinner together to cheer you up.”, the demon said softly as they paused and gazed at each other.  
Almost he would have gently flipped a golden curl out of Aziraphales eyes.  


“I'm fine. But thank you -if I may say so.”

“No you don't -and no, you're not.

Come with me. I know a nice place.” He reached for the angel's hand but stopped himself before they touched.

Aziraphale frowned.

So many scrolls...

So much wisdom lost.

Well. He still had Homers' scrolls at his place. But no one must know of that. 

You weren’t exactly allowed to take scrolls home.

Now he could hit himself for not taking more. Saving more of them.

So much ash.

He didn't know if he was going to cry.

Could he even cry?

He looked so sad and lost.

The demon felt the strong urge to hug and comfort him. 

But how?

When Aziraphale was one step away. Maybe two. But still so far.

"Angel...", he said in his softest voice.

This voice was reserved only for Aziraphale. It would never be directed at anyone else.

"Do you think they have baqlawa? I need something sweet to...", Aziraphale asked quietly, but then seemed to lose his train of thought.

Crowley smiled and the angel of the eastern gate looked away. The demon liked to imagine that if he were a proper human, he would blush.

It was going to be ok.

Eventually.

~♡~

Michael sat just a table away from them. She listened carefully, a piece of bread with something on it that smelled a bit strange in front of her. She hadn’t touched it yet.

Aziraphale talked very quietly. From time to time she heard the angel giggle.

From time to time she could see the demon shuffle closer.

Unlike the other angel or the demon, she could remember.

Well, at least more than the others. 

And she just knew, that the principality, angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale, would cause trouble. Sooner or later.

And then she’d be there to catch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: Homers works of Odyssey were the only ones to survive the burning of Alexandria
> 
> Source: ‘Crash Course Literature’ on YouTube if anyone is interested.
> 
> Also some sources say, that the library was burned down by Julius Caesar
> 
> -others say it just slowly declined and ceased to exist, slowly being destroyed by the following Emperors who thought that some wisdom could be dangerous, because apparently there are recordings that people still used to go there after Caesar burned his ships.
> 
> I decided for the first theory because it is the more common one I think – and also it better fits to the story.
> 
> Wikipedia says, it just partly burned down.
> 
> But I’m not an expert. Just did a bit of late night googling. Please feel free to let me know in the comments what you think or maybe even know is true. 
> 
> Also Michael starts with she/her pronouns, but will choose to change them over the course of this story to they/them maybe back to she/her and then to he/him.  
It is a metaphor for you can be whatever you want to be.


	5. 33 AD -Judea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are getting an easter chapter for Halloween!  
Yay.
> 
> Happy Halloween to everyone!

Chapter Five

33 AD -Judea

> “_The unicorns lifted their heads. Of course they weren't white. Why were things in this world always white-washed? Their hides were brown and grey, mottled black, and pale yellow like the autumn sun drifting through the damp fog above.” _  
_― **Cornelia Funke, Reckless**_

~~~

  
“Should we… you know…”, Aziraphale looked at his hands, then at his feet.

“Know what?”, Crowley stepped closer. 

“Bring him back?”, he whispered.  
A pause.  
Their eyes met.

“God will be not amused that they killed her son.”, Aziraphale pouted, "I don't want another flood."

  
Crowley took a deep breath. “There is nothing we can do. Can’t just bring him back. Too many people saw him die. Questions would be asked. We can’t wipe all of their memories, angel.”, he explained calmly.

  
“Maybe it is part of the Ineffable Plan after all.”, the angel said quietly after a while.

The demon raised a hand half way and then let it fall to his side again.  
“Let’s get something to drink.”, Crowley answered. He sounded tired.

  
Aziraphale was all over the place. And if something could calm him down, it was something nice to eat. And if he was really honest with himself, it was Crowley in the first place.

But he wasn’t honest with himself and so they went to the next best tavern and got drunk.

  
To be precise: They got drunk for three whole days.

On the third day, it happened. Suddenly somewhere around lunch time a man sat down next to them.

  
“Hey guys. I’m back.”, a familiar voice said.

  
“Sometimes I can still hear his voice.”, Crowley said and Aziraphale nodded, sadly.

  
The young man said a few more things, but there weren’t really in the state to comprehend much what wa being said.

  
“Anyway, it was nice, seeing you guys again. Could you tell mom, I’ll be home late?”

  
“Of course.”, Aziraphale said.

  
“Awesome! Thanks, guys. Gotta meet some other friends. Make a few last miracles. You know how it goes.” The man stood up again, smiled a last time at the angel and the demon, while paying for their drinks and then left the tavern without anyone else noticing.

  
When he was gone, Aziraphale said “Wait a minute. Was that-”

  
They ran into the streets.

  
He wasn’t there. Just a few people walking around, who didn’t seem to be impressed by anything at all.

  
“We- we should look, if he still there. You know? There.” Aziraphale stumbled.

Still drunk they went back to the cave.

~~~

The grave was empty.

“Hey.”, said a voice behind them out of nowhere.

  
“Ahh.”, Aziraphale screamed, jumped and grabbed Crowley, who only half caught him and they both landed on the floor.

Their wings got ruffled and Aziraphale lost two feathers in shock.

  
“You scared the living he- hea- scared the living shit out of us.”, Crowley stuttered as he helped Aziraphale standing up, trying to straight a few more feathers, but almost falling over again.

  
“Sorry for scaring you, guys. I forgot something. I think I lost a cloth or two here somewhere. But whatever. Gotta go now. Maybe we can hang out sometime. Well, not hang in that sense. Hehe. Too soon?"

The angel and the demon didn't answer, just stared, so he continued: "Oh, today should be a special day. Not really a birthday though. But something nice anyway. If they ask you just make up something nice.”

And with that he was gone.

"That was ... Something.", Crowley mumbled.

When they left the grave, Aziraphale stumbled against a woman. She let something fall and started screaming. The women who were with her started screaming as well. One ran away.

  
“Shit, we ssstill got our wingsss out.”, Crowley hissed.

“Oh, I almost laid an egg the second time today.”, Aziraphale complained at the same time.

The women stumbled back and got silent. 

  
“Dear angels, what news of our saviour do you have for us?”

  
Crowley took a step forward, the women huddled back. “Lisssten here, I’m not an-”

“Eggs!” Aziraphale shouted and then nodded. “Nice and colourful eggs. They represent theeee …empty cave?”

Crowley tried to help: “Eggssss laid by beautiful white-”

“Rabbits.”, Aziraphale said.

Crowley shot him a side glance.

"Lilys are a great flower for decorations."

  
And they went on like that for a while.

  
They talked about how they should calculate it from the phases of the moon, about how the eggs should be hunted and if it wouldn’t be quite nice if there were one or another parade.

The moon thing had been Crowley's idea, but Aziraphale kept interrupting him and the women got confused. This would later result in different eastern feasts on different dates of the year.

  
Later the women would tell the disciples of the occurrences. About Jesus and the celestial beings and rabbits and eggs.

The disciples wouldn’t believe it.

~~~

"We should sober up.", Crowley said, as they stumbled into Aziraphales' home that night.

  
"We should have done that much earlier.", the angel groanedas he let himself fall on some couch-like furniture, which was mainly feathers and straw. "Gabriel is going to be so mad."  
Then he started giggling as Crowley sat down directly next to him.

"So you like magical rabbits?", the demon asked and leaned over.

"Only if they are white."

"The snake part of me likes bunnies, too."

Aziraphale almost fell down, giggling.

"Oh stop it."

They looked in each others' eyes and stopped laughing.

In the distance the howling of a wolf-like creature could be heard.

Crowley hesitated, then he said: "I think I should give some feedback downstairs."

"Alright. Will I see you again soon?"

"Sure, angel." And with that he left through the backdoor.

  
Almost the same moment, the front door opened.

  
"Gabriel!"  
He jumped to his feet.

The archangels' eyes glowed and only now he realised how dark it had become, so he snapped a finger and there was light again.

Gabriel came very close and Aziraphale didn't dare to step back. He looked up and gulped.

Personal space or 'Proxemic' would be invented in the 1960s by the Anthropologist Edward T. Hall.  
Not that Gabriel would care even then.

"Good job, Aziraphale. Great work ethics.", Gabriel shouted and the principality and angel of the eastern gate stumbled back.

"I mean 'Easter Eggs'? That was a nice touch."

Aziraphale didn't understand anything anymore. "What about ...Her son?"

"He is put under house arrest for getting himself crucified."

"Send him my regards."

"Of co- Wait, something smells evil."

"That must be the grasshoppers outside."

The archangel Gabriels face dropped a bit, but then he got back to his scary grinning.

"Anyway, keep up the great work."  
He gave him another thumbs up  
Aziraphale nodded nervously.

And with that Gabriel was gone.

~~~

_Downstairs_ Crowley stood infront of Beelzebub and Dagon.

"Killing God's son. This looks like someone is getting a promotion.", Dagon snarled.

"Your application for an extension of your worklicense on earth has been accepted.", Beelzebub added. "You can resume your work there. Before that little miracle up there, you had been balanced on knife's edge."

  
Crowley had wanted to say something, but he remained silent.

"You may go, now."

He nodded, then he left, without looking back.

That could have been close.

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Note: I
> 
> Funfact 1: Lk 24,1–12 EU: The Grave is open; two angels proclaim the easter message. 
> 
> There are more versions of this. But this one is my favourite.
> 
> Funfact 2 (because I heard on the radio, that many people don't know this): "Easter, also called Pascha or Resurrection Sunday, is a festival and holiday commemorating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, described in the New Testament as having occurred on the third day after his burial following his crucifixion by the Romans at Calvary c. 30 AD."  
Again. Different sources say different things. But that’s because it was a long time ago. At least for human standards.  
"It is the culmination of the Passion of Jesus, preceded by Lent , a 40-day period of fasting, prayer, and penance."  
Aziraphale certainly doesn’t like the fasting part.
> 
> Also "Easter and the holidays that are related to it are moveable feasts which do not fall on a fixed date in the Gregorian or Julian calendars which follow only the cycle of the Sun; rather, its date is offset from the date of Passover and is therefore calculated based on a lunisolar calendar similar to the Hebrew calendar. The First Council of Nicaea (325) established two rules, independence of the Jewish calendar and worldwide uniformity, which were the only rules for Easter explicitly laid down by the council. No details for the computation were specified - these were worked out in practice, a process that took centuries and generated a number of controversies."
> 
> "It has come to be the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or soonest after 21 March. Even if calculated on the basis of the more accurate Gregorian calendar, the date of that full moon sometimes differs from that of the astronomical first full moon after the March equinox."
> 
> (Fun fact about the author of this fic (me): Being half catholic and half orthodox, I chose to celebrate both easters. Because more magical rabbits.)
> 
> "Easter is linked to the Jewish Passover by much of its symbolism, as well as by its position in the calendar. In most European languages the feast is called by the words for passover in those languages; and in the older English versions of the Bible the term Easter was the term used to translate passover. Easter customs vary across the Christian world, and include sunrise services, exclaiming the Paschal greeting, clipping the church, and decorating Easter eggs (symbols of the empty tomb). The Easter lily, a symbol of the resurrection, traditionally decorates the chancel area of churches on this day and for the rest of Eastertide. Additional customs that have become associated with Easter and are observed by both Christians and some non-Christians include egg hunting, the Easter Bunny, and Easter Parades. There are also various traditional Easter foods that vary regionally."  
Often it is lamb, but I also know some greeks who planned on having a barbecue of a whole goat.
> 
> [source: Wikipedia and not enough sleep]
> 
> I’d like to dedicate this chapter to my granny, because easter was her favourite holiday.


	6. 41AD -Rome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, guys. Now that I've won Nanowrimo, I can update chapters here more regularly again. Yay.

~○~

"The night is alive with stars, and when I lie down and look up, I get lost up there. I feel like I’m falling, but upward, into the abyss of sky above me."   
-Markus Zusak, The Bookthief

~○~

It stayed the only temptation this day. 

The oysters had been nice though.

In the evening they sat on a field, the stars above them, close, but not that close. Crowley could almost touch him, but he also couldn’t. The oysters had been good. He could have watched Aziraphale eat them all day long. And he probably actually did. What is a day, if you have eternity?

The grass and clover were soft and a bit moist and it smelled of rain, but the sky was clear, anyway. It might or might not have been a small demonic miracle.

“Do you remember meeting Plato?”, Aziraphale asked quietly after a while of them watching the stars and moon in silence.

“Yeah, 380 BC. He was writing that book. Politeia. He totally had a thing for Sokrates. Am I right?”, the demon answered.

“You are absolutely right. I mean - he wrote like ten books with him as a main character.”

“It’s strange.”, Crowley said, while Aziraphale at the same time said: “It’s cute.”

Before fanfiction got invented, friendfiction was a huge thing, not only among the Greeks.

They didn’t have to turn their heads to know that the other one was smiling.

“He had some terrible views on slavery though.”

“Don’t blame me, angel. He thought of that himself.”

“I’m not blaming you, my dear boy.”

“But you did talk to that Pythagoras guy. Didn’t you?”, Aziraphale added after a while.

“Just let him know, that the earth isn’t flat. -And I have the feeling, that the schoolchildren of the next generations will curse him more than enough.”

Not only is Pythagoras responsible for many of the failed math tests for the next three thousand years, he is also credited as the first Greek to think the earth spherical, but this idea was probably founded on mystic reasons rather than scientific. Either way, the news didn’t seem to get around everywhere on earth, because even more than two thousand years later, the flat earth society still has members all around the globe.

“Do you know what they nowadays say about the centre of the universe?”, Aziraphale asked as excited as someone who had learned something new and wanted to impress a teacher with their knowledge.

I know you are the centre of my universe, Crowley thought very quietly to himself, while he also quietly admired his angel for going through the struggle of learning something about the universe, because he knew, that Crowley was really into Astronomy. 

Heliocentrism wasn’t exactly big news. But he appreciated the effort.

The Greeks, or to be precise Aristarchus claimed the sun, not the earth, was the fixed centre of the universe, and that the earth, along with the rest of the planets, revolved around the sun, anticipating Copernicus and Galileo by almost 20 centuries.

“There are so many great things that are going to be invented. So many things to discover. …So many oysters to be eaten.”, Aziraphale whispered later. His excitement almost filled the air with electricity.

And Crowley could only agree, because pessimism wasn’t invented yet.

Pessimism would be invented by Arthur Schopenhauer in 1788. His opinion was: that a) existence is a mistake; b) there is no meaning or purpose to existence; c) the best thing for humans is non-existence; d) life is essentially suffering and suffering is evil; and e) this is the worst of all possible worlds. And even Nietzsche would later claim that this world view said more about Schopenhauer than about the world.  
But there was still time until then.

So the demon and the angel lay underneath the sky, full of hope and great expectations for the future almost until the sun rise again.

~○~

Downstairs Beelzebub sat on their throne doing some paperwork. Dagon sat beside them on the floor, scrolls over scrolls surrounding them. They stared at their bad handwriting and wondered if they were looking at a balance of accounts or the recipe for apple pie.

Hastur approached them with a bow.

“Hail Satan.”, he said.

“Hail Satan.”, Beelzebub and Dagon answered simultaneously.

“What do you want, duke of hell, Hastur?”, Dagon asked, putting the scroll down on the pile for shredding.

“You remember the demon Crowley, that you sent to earth, Lord?”, he asked, facing Beelzebub.

“Yes, I do. The demon Crowley is doing some extraordinary work up there.”

“I think he is planning… something.”, Hastur said meaningfully.  
At least he imagined that was what he sounded like. 

But Lord Beelzebub seemed rather unimpressed by that. They focused on their paperwork again.  
“That’s not your division, Hastur. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Lord Beelzebub.”

“If you want to file an official complaint anyway, you may go to the room of complaints.”, Dagon added showing some teeth.

Hastur didn’t answer.  
He just bowed and then left them, to go back to his room.

The room of complaints was the same room where the hellhound nursery was stationed.

They didn’t feed the hellhounds there very often.   
At least they didn't feed them intentionally.

He remembered the demon Abyzou who had wanted to file a complaint of workplace harassment for the demon Lilith. She had gone to the room of complaints and got eaten. A week later, when Lilith hadn’t changed her attitude, Abyzou went there again. And got eaten again.

Hastur jumped a little, as Ligur nudged his side.

"Are you alright?", Ligur asked.

"I'm a demon. I'm never alright."

"What did you talk to the Lord about?"

"We suspect something fishy with the demon Crowley."

"Do we?"

"We do."

They nodded at each other.

~○~

Gabriel sat in front of an almost empty desk. There were only a small black notebook and a ridiculously sharp pencil in front of him.

“I have a complaint about the principality and angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale.”, Michael said without a greeting. 

Gabriel stood up, walked around the table and then leaned against it and crossed his arms, like one of these teachers who desperately wanted to look cool and relatable.

“What is it?”, he asked.

“He is probably planning something. Something regarding… downstairs.”

“What about Lord Beelzebub? Have they said something about it?”

“No, I don’t think so.”, Michael said in a confused tone.

“…Have they mentioned me?”

Michael hesitated, caught off guard. “I don’t think so.”

“Ok. I don’t care.” Gabriels smile was bright and frozen. Almost like the one of a psychopath who was about to commit his first attempt of cutting someone into tiny pieces. He walked around his desk and sat down again.

“But-”

“It’s not your division, Michael.”, he said, concentrating on the empty notebook again.

“I-”

“Go away and practice playing some harp or something.”

Gabriel continued to stare at the blank page before him. 

~○~

In her room Michael smashed her harp into a corner.

"Are you alright?", Uriel knocked on her door.

"Gabriel is so annoying."

"Just let it rest, ok, hon?", Uriel asked.

But Michael was stubborn.

Sooner or later she would find something. And then they would respect her, the way she deserved.

~○~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the all-around-the-globe-joke was intentional.
> 
> Anyway. Leave a kudos if you liked it and tell me your thoughts.
> 
> I'm on Tumblr (@abirdonalilactree) if you'd like to talk or something or *cough* are interested in my original work (it's a really gay mystery/romance novel) that hopefully will be edited soon. *cough*  
I also post fanart of this very fanfiction there because why not?


	7. 537 AD -Somewhere Between Trees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: a few worms and a spider get eaten. 

“No offense, but I'd rather kiss the horse.”   
― Anthony Horowitz, Point Blank

Hastur was lost. Every tree looked the same.

The horse he was riding didn’t really want to do what he wanted and seemed to walk in circles and might have been doing so for a few hours now.

He should have paid more attention to the skills of the horse after all rather than that it was a nice shade of black and had red eyes and teeth like a crocodile, when he chose it.

"Now left.", Hastur said.

The horse ignored him. Demonic miracles didn't seem to work on that one either.

"Left.", Hastur emphasized.   
The horse didn't care.  
It ate a bit of grass. Then it continued walking like it had all the time in the world.

Finally, after what felt like hours and hours, he saw a strange light glooming between the trees.

Something glittery. Something flickering. Something clear and bright.

Luckily the horse went in that exact direction.

“Oh, it is you.”, Hastur stated as they approached a figure.

“Of course it is me. Stupid demon.”

A voice like birds singing.

Michaels hair was done up nicely. A golden curl fell in her eyes. She had a long light blue dress with white flowers.

“Saint Michael the Archangel.”

“Hastur, the fallen angel and Duke of hell.”

Michael crossed her arms, as she watched Hastur half falling down from his horse, while the horse continued to make tiny steps to the side and shaking its mane.

“You are late.”, Michael stated.

“Yes, I am.”

Hastur came closer maybe to shake hands, but Michael stepped back. She cleared her throat nervously. The surrounding Forest grew silent as they stared at each other suspiciously.

“I suspect-”, they both started and then stopped.

Hastur waited for Michael to start again.

“The principality and angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale is up to no good.”, she said finally. 

“So is the demon Crowley. Well. Probably the opposite. He is up to no evil. Which isn’t good for a demon. Or bad. A demon should do bad stuff.”, he tried to clarify.

“We have to do something.”, Michael said and crossed her arms as she watched the demon walk past her. While doing so, he accidently bumped her shoulder.

“Sorry.”, Michael said. The demon ignored it.

Hastur sat down on a rotting tree. A huge spider crawled on his knee. He ate it. “What do you want to do? Neither Gabriel nor Beelzebub want to act.”, he finally said.

“Who do you think would get the next promotion, if we found out that they both are traitors and could prove it? Or better: if we eliminated the threat?”

“Who is tempting who, now?”, Hastur asked and showed his teeth which was supposed to look like a grin but didn’t. She had also asked a question. Wasn’t that like forbidden for them or something?

Michaels Aura turned blood red. 

Hastur felt himself smile… genuinely? That was unusual.

It felt so strange. Sour and wet and cold faded to make a place for a feeling of warm fuzziness.

“I don’t trust you.”, she said.

“I don’t trust you, either.”, he replied. 

“What a strange world it would be if demons and angels walked around trusting each other.”

They glared at each other for a while, silently. Black and light blue.  
His eyes were so dark, it was like staring into the void.  
The void stared back at her.  
When she started to feel like she was being sucked into darkness, she turned around.  
There was a pretty ribbon on the back of her dress.

She quickly went over to the horse to pet it. Where she touched it, the horse turned white.

“What’s her name?”, she asked softly. 

“Biscuits.”, Hastur answered as he casually ate a few worms, that were so unlucky to be at the wrong place, which was at the rotten tree, at the wrong time, which was now.

“Why do you call her ‘biscuits’?”

“She has the colour of biscuits.”

“You are not making biscuits right.”

Biscuits shook her head and tried to bite Michael, but she whispered something in a foreign language, until the horse calmed down. 

“We can’t kill them, I think. That paperwork would be he- That paperwork would be shi- Would be poo poo. But I thought of another option. I have a plan. Maybe I should take care of the demon Crowley and you take care of the principality and angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale. Then we both win and can book it as a success.” When she turned around to face Hastur again, the demon stared at her with an open mouth. And spider legs between his teeth.

“What? Are you getting cold feet already? Are you a coward? You-”

“My feet are always cold. It’s because my socks are wet. No, it is a good-” he shuddered “-plan. I’ll take care of this angel. But. Did you- Did you just say ‘poo poo’?”

“What else should I say?”

Hastur stood up from the rotten tree and stepped closer again, slowly. This time the angel didn’t move. “Say ‘hell.’” 

Michaels’ eyes got darker. She could feel the coldness radiating from him.

The demon raised a hand to touch her cheek very slowly, because it looked so white and fragile and-

The angel punched him in the stomach.

Hastur couldn’t breathe for a moment or two.

Or three. It was a surprisingly hard punch.

“So we have a deal.”, Michael said firmly.

The demon nodded, still hunched with pain.

“Awww, did I hurt you?”, Michael asked.

Hastur shook his head and stood up straight again.

The angel shrugged. “Fine. Then I have to go now.”

“Wait.”

“… Why?”, Michael asked carefully. She prepared herself to throw another punch in case the demon hadn’t understood, yet.

“Would you show me?”

“What?”

“How to make biscuits?”

Michael laughed. It sounded angelic.

It sounded… If a flower made a sound, it would sound like her, Hastur thought.


	8. The Princess and the snek -Christmas Special 1-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas special! Christmas special!  
This is my Christmas Special Part 1.  
Part 2 and part 3 will be posted tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
> 
> These three Parts will be a bit silly, but whatever.
> 
> Enjoy this with a hot christmas beverage of your choice and/or maybe some cake if you like :)

“If we were in a film, the villain would turn out to be the least-expected person. But as we aren’t in a film, I’d go for the character who tried to strangle you.”  
― Kerstin Gier, Ruby Red

~~~

Soon after their last encounter, the black knight vanished and never was heard of again.

And here is why:

Our demon, who had fallen off his horse already some time ago, tried to catch up with his fellow knights, so he was all alone when it started to get really dark.  
Back then on a cloudy night, without streetlamps or electricity in general the world could get really dark.  
On this particular night it was cloudy so not even the moon could be seen, but Crowley couldn't bother to miracle light. He was somehow annoyed at how Aziraphale had treated him at their last meeting.

Deep in thoughts he almost ran into something. He stumbled backwards.  
Suddenly there was a glowing fairy right in front of him in the middle of the bridge.  
Wait.  
No, it was an angel, who looked like a fairy.

But it wasn't his angel. No. This angel wasn’t a principality and angel of the eastern gate.

"Do I know you?", Crowley asked. 

"I'm the archangel Michael and no, you do not know me."

"Could you then just let me through? I have some business on the other side of this bridge. At least I think so."

He still wasn't sure where exactly he was.

They stared at each other for a moment.

Michaels’ long dress and wings were made of blue and glitter. The dress was glowing strangely, maybe even flickering and the trees around them were like dancing shadows.

A small crown hovered above her head.  
This little crown was actually a nice touch, Crowley thought.

"You shall not pass.", Michael said when Crowley stepped closer again.

"Why not?"

Michael hesitated. "You have to give me the password.", she then said.

Like many many others after him, hundreds of years later, he chose to say: "Is it 'password'?"

"Wrong answer.", the Archangel answered.

Suddenly the sky above them grew even darker like it was absorbing all the last light and a storm came up as if someone had turned a switch.

"Wait! Don't I have like three tries?", Crowley yelled over the raging wind.

"No."

That was when a lightning bold struck him.

Then there was pain and darkness.

When he opened his eyes again, the ground was much closer.

He felt the familiar sensation of soil and leaves on scales.

"Only a True Loves Kiss can turn you into human shape again." These words hovered above his head.

"Why are you doing thisss?"

"Stay away from Aziraphale." With this warning the Archangel disappeared.

Crowley tried to turn himself back into human shape. But for some reason he couldn't.

The forest grew a lot louder again. The trees were whispering as he slithered past them.

And since then Crowley was slithering around for months until fate and circumstance or some might say even god herself brought him to a garden, that oddly enough reminded him of Eden.

There were bushes and fruit trees and close to a gate, which was if the sun and time of the day weren't lying, at the eastern end of the garden, was a pond.

A woman in a beautiful cream-coloured dress and with blond, even angelic curls, who was also overweight sat down next to the pond. She looked gorgeous and at the same time soft and friendly and round.

She had a huge book on her lap. And glasses on her nose.

When she turned her head, her smile was like the sunrise. Warm, like a promise for a good day.

“Crowley!”, she said cheerfully.

"How for hea- I mean he- I mean how for fucksss sssake did you end up in a princess costume?"

"I really needed this book.", Aziraphale, principality and angel of the eastern gate, said like it would explain everything.  
And it actually did.

Crowley admired the dress.  
He hadn't known that it was even possible to...  
He made a mental note to try it himself as soon as possible.

“And what are you doing here, my dear boy?”

“I was looking for you because I had to stay away from you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Long story. The point isss: I can’t go back to my human shape.”

"Why can't you just turn back normally or ask your demon friends for help?"

"I can't 'sssimply' Turn! Back! ...and they are not my friendsss."

"Alright." Aziraphale half hid behind her book.

"It needsss a true lovesss kisssss to turn me back."

"Angels are full of true love.", Aziraphale said.

"I know, Angel. That's why I needed to find you.", Crowley answered slowly.

"So you are asking me-"

"Yesss."

Aziraphale huffed uncomfortably. She wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

Crowley waited for another reaction. He sighed nervously.

"Angel, please. I can't stay like this forever."

Finally the angel made a decision, closed her eyes, leaned in for a quick kiss on the top of his scaly head and moved back as soon as she felt the surprisingly warm scales shift. They felt tingly. And somehow soft.  
Soft in a good way.

Princess Aziraphale tried not to look.

But then she did.

The demon was back in his human shape, skin white, and curls long. 

And when Crowley caught her eyes and smirked, the angel turned red.

Quickly he miracled his clothes back.

"Thanksss.", Crowley said.

"You're welcome.", Aziraphale nodded, cheeks still glowing.

Crowley looked around. "Someone is watching."

"If they see us together, they'll assume all the wrong things.", Aziraphale said with a nervous laugh.

"To be fair: you did kiss me."

"You took my innocence and now you have to marry me.", Aziraphale grinned.

"That makes sense to me.", said Crowley, grinning as well. 

Aziraphale hugged her book and just smiled at him warmly for a moment or maybe longer.  
Crowley smiled back.

"Sooo.... Now that you have the book, and I have my body back, we should get the he- got the h- get the fuck out of here.", Crowley said slowly.

He took her arm and pulled her in the direction of the exit.

So they got the fuck out of there and lived happily ever after.

…or did they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note:
> 
> I wasn’t sure if I would include this chapter, but well here we are.   
Just a silly little thing.  
Where I come from, it is a Christmas tradition to read fairy tales.  
Merry Christmas / Happy holidays to you.  
If you don't celebrate it (or if you are reading this at another time of the year) I'm hoping you are having a nice time right now. <3
> 
> Take care of your self and don't let the mean relatives get you down. 
> 
> I send y'all a warm hug -or if you don't like to be hugged, please imagine a nice smile ;)


	9. Sleeping Beauty -Christmas Special 2-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter of the three-Part Christmas special.  
I know, I am late but there had been an unexpected family emergency.
> 
> But everything turned out fine now, so don't worry.
> 
> Hope y'all good and please enjoy this chapter^^

~~~

“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.”  
― Bram Stoker, Dracula

~~~

“You failed.”, stated Hastur.

“I didn’t fail per se.”, Michael said angrily.

Hastur stepped back. He liked that they always met in the forrest.  
The ground was soft. On a tree trunk he spotted a bug. He grabbed and ate it.

“The demon Crowley is still out there and well.”, he said. On one hand he was annoyed that the job hadn't been done. On the other hand it was quite funny to see Michael get angry.

“He could only have gotten out of this, if an angel had helped him.”, Michael almost hissed. 

“I’ll try with the principality and angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale, now.”, Hastur replied calmly. 

“No.”

“No?”

“Yes. No.”

“What now?”

“You are not going to do anything. I’m trying again.”

“But it’s my turn.”

“You heard me.”

“Ok. …When will I see you again, Archangel Michael?”

“When it is done.”  
And with that she was gone. 

~~~

It should have been the celebration of the century.  
Crowley's birthday party.  
Well, more a party, less a birthday.  
Being a demon he didn't really have a birthday.  
26.06. Seemed like a good enough date for him.

When anyone asked him ‘Which year?’, he always and without exception replied: ‘Every year.’

No one had invited Michael and Sandolphon.  
They showed up anyway.

And for a moment Crowley thought that they came because of the cake. Aziraphale, who also was invited but seemed a bit late, would love the cake. It only appeared natural to him that other angels would like cake, too.

But he was wrong.  
They didn't even want to try the cake.

And one dramatic miracle later, Crowley turned to sleep, while everyone else in the castle turned to stone. 

~~~

Aziraphale was once more dressed like a knight when he showed up two months too late to the party, - which hadn’t been a party anymore for two months. But he had brought cake.

It wasn’t really his fault that he was late. There had been problems with some people he wanted to buy books from. Then his horse ran away- 

~~~

Princesses and also the one or other prince from near and far had come to wake up Crowley with a kiss. But they had never come past the dragon which guarded the gates of the castle.

It was a huge dragon. Its scales were black and red.  
And it was angry. 

~~~

In the village besides the castle, Aziraphale made a stop for dinner. That was where the village people told him the story of the two evil fairys that made everyone fall asleep.  
Of course he assumed they were talking about demons. 

~~~

Aziraphale finally came up with a plan after three more days and nights. 

He figured that the dragon must have been awfully angry, if he ate all these poor princesses and princes.

He asked himself what he would do, if he ever would get really angry.

The answer wasn't surprising at all and soon he stood bravely in front of the dragon. 

"Good dragon, I brought you a gift. Maybe you could do me a favour in return. I have this huge bucket of vanilla ice cream with your name on it."

The dragon growled then he stepped back, but Aziraphale kept moving towards him.

"Wait. This is for you." 

Then suddenly the angel stumbled and fell over a small rock. While doing so he plunged the bucket towards the reptile.

The dragon howled in pain as the ice cream seemed to burn through his scales and dropped dead.

Aziraphale slowly got back to his feet under the rustling armor. He felt a bit dizzy. "Oh, no! I didn't-"  
He raised a hand to miracle him back to life but then he thought better of it.

He carefully walked past the corpse.

The angel would miracle him back to life after he got out of the castle again.

Yes, that was a better plan.

So he made his way through the halls and rooms and corridors, making a lot of noise with every step, while everything else was unnaturally still. Everything was dusty and he miracled the spiders away to the woods.

After a while he found the master's bedroom.

The walls were a beautiful shade of dark red. A lot of silk, some tasteful paintings hung there. 

Aziraphale paused and watched Crowley breathe in and out.

His curls fell gently on the pillow.

He was surrounded by pillows.

There were Feathers on the floor.

They were grey.

Were these feathers from the pillows or from his wings?

Aziraphale took Crowleys hand carefully in his own.  
It was cold.  
But somehow so familiar. 

He leaned forward and forward and forward -  
and then he kissed the back of his hand very carefully.

When he felt Crowley shifting, he pulled back.

He looked at the demon expectantly.

Crowley's eyes were still closed. His lips were parted slightly, his cheeks were flushed.

Aziraphale leaned closer again until he could feel his warmth. 

"Crowley, I know you are awake.", he whispered.

"Only five more minutes."

"Crowley, you get up right now. I came all the way here for your birthday. Happy belated birthday by the way."

The demon growled.

He sat up.  
Snake eyes looked at blueish-greenish-brownish ones.

“You know, usually you have to wake someone up with a kiss on their lips.”, the demon said and yawned. "That'sss how the humans do it."

“Well. Someone can’t give consent if they are sleeping. ….What a world would it be, if people walked around kissing other people on their mouths in their sleep.”

Crowley's thoughts stumbled all over each other.

He wanted to say: ‘I give you consent to kiss me whenever you please.’

Or: ‘It was nice, feeling your lips on my hands, maybe you could touch… you know… ;)’

(Yes, in his head he wanted to wink.)

But instead he said: “I didn’t give you consent to touch my hand.”

“Then I’m sorry. I won’t bother you again.”

“Aziraphale, wait.”

“What is it?”

Crowley didn't really know what to say.  
But the angel waited patiently.  
He then decided to say something simple.  
“…I’m sorry?”

“I forgive you.” Aziraphale smiled again as if nothing had happened. “Happy Birthday. I brought cake. You can watch me eating it.”

And he did.


	10. Aziraphale and the seven short men

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be posted on Christmas but then there was a family emergency.  
Then there was uni stuff go do.  
Then I had to change a few things in this chapter before I was content enough to post it.  
I'm still not completely happy with it, but...
> 
> But here we are now.  
I hope you'll enjoy it. :)

~~~

“There are many things in life that cannot be explained.”   
― Anthony Horowitz, Nightrise

~~~

The angel of the eastern gate usually tried not to become friends with mortals but when he had to flee into the woods, when the demons took over the castle of Winchester, he had to look for help.   
And he found it in a small cottage in the woods.  
____

Aziraphale, back in his normal clothing stumbled through the woods in search of something to eat. 

Not that he really needed it. 

But he really wanted it. 

Some chocolate cake would be heavenly.

Time passed and he arrived at a small cabin. There were beautiful flowers surrounding it. Something about the flowers was calming. And despite the feeling of being watched, he had enjoyed the walk.   
Tiny sunrays, that found their way through between the thicc branches of the old trees surrounding him, tickled his skin.   
He knocked on the door without hesitation as he sensed some freshly baked good close by. 

A short man opened. He had a white beard and a funny hat. 

He looked Aziraphale up and down and before the angel could introduce himself, the shorter man said: "Please come in and have a seat. We have a cookie." 

~~~

Before he knew, Aziraphale spent seven days and seven nights cooking for seven short and incredibly nice men, while those were away working for a constructing firm during the day. 

Living in a forest, and before the invention of electricity, there were still a lot of fun things to do. The angels favourite fun thing to do was reading. The nice short men had a lot of books.   
Aziraphale felt like he was in a good part of heaven. In the evenings they would often sit together cosily by the fire and read for each other. 

~~~

On the morning of the eighth day, the short men were out working again, like every other morning before. 

Just as Aziraphale miracled a bit of dust away, there was a knock on the door.

Maybe it's the mail, he thought as he opened it. 

An elderly lady stood before him. She had a basket of apples with her. 

"'morning.", she said. 

"I hope you are having a lovely morning.", Aziraphale answered. 

She took one of the apples out of the basket and held it under his nose, wordlessly. 

"See. I don't really do apples.", the angel smiled politely. 

"Here. Have the prettiest one.", the elderly lady said with a rough and shaky voice. 

"Oh why, thank you so much.", Aziraphale said and took it.   
He bit into the apple without hesitation, as the lady watched him. 

"Stay away from the demon Crowley.", a voice he hadn't heard before suddenly said, as the face of the elderly lady started to melt. 

As he faded to sleep, he saw the old lady's face transform into that of Hastur.

His laugh was the last thing he heard before he fell into his first slumber for a long time.

The apple wasn't poisonous enough to discorporate him, but there was just the right amount of evil to make him sleep.

____

When Bubi found him in the evening as they came home from work, you could hear his scream in every last part of the kingdom.

"He is not breathing.", Tschakko said quietly. 

"What should we do?", Sunny asked. 

"We need to burry him. Get rid of the evidence.", Cloudy answered. 

The seven short men built a coffin made of glass and laid the angel in there. 

Aziraphale looked very angelic even though he was sleeping.  
Eyes closed, neutral expression, but still there was an Aura of love surrounding him. 

~~~

Crowley had been searching for his angel for a while now, until he got his trail again.  
There were angry book sellers every once in a while that gave him his direction.   
Crowley had a warm feeling in his stomach, when he thought about, how Aziraphale had annoyed these men. The feeling grew stronger, when he thought of his smile.   
He missed him. He really did. He wouldn't admit it, but he did. 

After much too long of walking between trees and even more trees, there was suddenly the fading scent of pie in the air. Then he noticed how the animals have gotten quiet. There wasn't a single bumble bee in sight.   
He followed the scent until he started to hear noises.   
Suddenly the trees parted and he almost lost his shades as he started running. 

"AZIRAPHALE! YOU CAN'T JUST BURY HIM! AZIRAPHALE."

He knelt in front of the coffin, after he had opened it. No reaction.   
The demon carefully touched his cheek. It was very cold.

"Please wake up, Aziraphale. Please wake up."

The demon laid his head on the angels’ soft stomach. He felt his clothes get wet under his tears. 

"Are you still in there, Aziraphale? Can you hear me? Please answer.", Crowley whispered hoarsely. 

Sunny wanted to step forward but Cloudy held him back and shook his head.   
The men watched Crowley cry, unable to move. 

"Please wake up.", he whispered again and again.

Suddenly the principality and angel of the eastern gate coughed. Then he spat out the piece of the apple that had hung in his throat.

Aziraphale opened his eyes.

Teary snake eyes looked back.

Long red hair tingled his skin.

"Crowley! Good, that you knew what to do to break the curse.", the angel said and Crowley moved back quickly.

"...Yes...I knew..."

He miracled his tears away.  
Then he cleared his throat.

Over the noise of the cheering friends, he didn't realise how red Crowley had turned.

"We should celebrate.", Aziraphale said cheerfully as he got out of the coffin. 

"Will you bake us some apple pie?"

"No."

Crowley laughed nervously. 

"This is not funny!" 

They stayed in the cottage for three more weeks before some messages from work arrived and they were sent into different directions once more.

~~~

“We failed again.”, Hastur said. 

“I know.”, Michael said.

She walked up and down.

“Sooner or later they will make a mistake and then we will be there.”, Michael said.

  
____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra points go to the person who will find out, from which version of the fairy tale the names are from.


	11. beauty and the snek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this is embarrassing. I have all 42 chapters written, but I haven't managed to finish the editing.   
Because I've been distracted.
> 
> This chapter was supposed to go up on christmas.  
I bow my head in shame.
> 
> The next updates might take a bit longer as well...

* * *
    
    
    It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to.
    
    -Kazuo Ishiguro, Never let me go

* * *
    
    
    Aziraphale had been walking for days, probably weeks. For some reason his shoes couldn't be pretty and comfortable at the same time, which made him think that they might have been invented by downstairs. 
    
    While travelling around he had made miracles for both of them - him and Crowley - for a while now and he felt exhausted.
    Of course he did. It wasn't so much the miracles themselves, more the inner turmoil of not knowing what was right and what was wrong.
    
    But he had done a good job or an evil one. Depending on how you chose to see it. 
    In the end and when you calculated everything together you would come to the conclusion that he did a neutral job.
    Good and evil cancelled each other out perfectly.
    
    But now of course he felt very tired.
    
    ~~~
    
    Nothing out of the ordinary happened for some time until he came to a small village, where something seemed just a bit off. It was a different kind of off, then you usually see in small villages. 
    
    He could hear the people whisper in the streets. Curiously, he listened.
    
    "He hasn't come down 'ere in a while." 
    
    "There is a monster in the castle of the forest."
    
    "A beautiful man with snake eyes."
    
    They got quiet when he walked past them.
    
    'I know someone beautiful with snake eyes.', Aziraphale thought to himself. 
    
    "Where is that castle?", he asked the person who tried to sell him groceries. 
    
    "In the middle of the forest. It is surrounded by a garden of red and yellow and blue roses. When you see the river, you have gone too far."
    
    "Thank you very much, dear village persons.", Aziraphale said with a soft smile.
    
    "You are not going to go there, are you? He seems very dangerous." 
    
    "Don't worry about me, village person." 
    
    
    ~~~
    
    
    After long hours and days of walking through nowhereland, he finally stood in front of a garden of the prettiest red and blue and yellow flowers he had ever seen.
    It was also the biggest rosegarden he had ever seen.
    
    Their scent was Delightful.
    
    First the plants seemed to reach for him as he walked through a gate and then past a gravelled path.
    They weren't all the same colours. He also spotted some orange ones and pink and black and white. 
    More minutes went by quietly and he only heard his own footsteps on the gravel. 
    
    Until suddenly there was the sound of someone insulting the roses in the distance.
    
    Aziraphales whole face lit up. "Crowley."
    
    He almost ran. 
    
    "Angel! How are you?", Crowley asked when Aziraphale stopped, already standing in his personal space, but too shy to take the last half a step to actually hug him.
    
    "I'm exhausted."
    
    "Would you like to come inside? Have a cup of tea?" 
    
    "Yes, please. My shoes are discorporating me." 
    
    "You look very pretty in them, angel."
    
    "Oh, thank you." 
    At least it had been worth it. 
    
    He followed Crowley the gravelled path to a really impressive castle-like building. 
    
    ~~~
    
    First of all Aziraphale took off his shoes.
    
    "This is beautiful.", he said admiring the entrance hall.
    
    "I'll show you around. Follow me,  angel."
    
    The angel followed him. 
    
    And he followed him through big and small rooms. Most of them seemed very rarely used. 
    
    "Look at my Library. 
    You like books, right? 
    Ngk. I mean. Here are books. Whatever."
    He leaned against a shelf, crossing his arms.
    
    Aziraphale imagined his heart to beat faster. 
    
    So many books. 
    
    "May I?", he asked before he reached for one. 
    
    Hours and hours passed. 
    He felt the urge to touch every book there was. He monologued over every other book there was until his eyes fell on the next one. 
    Crowley meanwhile sat down in the huge black armchair. And listened. And nodded every once in a while when their eyes met. From out of nowhere he had produced a bottle of wine, from which he was now drinking.
    
    "I think I need to go soon.", Aziraphale suddenly said and closed the book he was currently holding. 
    The unexpected loud sound made Crowley jump.
    
    "You can't go.", he said. Then he looked like he wanted to take his words back to phrase them differently.
    
    "Why?", Aziraphale asked after a moment. 
    
    Crowley jumped out of the armchair and stood protectively in front of the door. 
    
    "You haven't had lunch yet."
    
    "It's well past midnight." 
    
    "Great. Dinner it is." 
    
    
    ~~~
    
    
    Ligur didn't like horses. Just like Hastur. 
    This horse wasn't even working properly, he thought. 
    This was because of the fact that his horse was really a cow. 
    But he somehow couldn't tell the difference. 
    
    It didn't matter. 
    It brought him from A to B. 
    
    'A' in this context was hell and 'B' was Crowley. 
    
    Beelzebub would be so annoyed if they knew. 
    But he owed it to Hastur. 
    
    ~~~
    
    Uriel walked by foot. 
    
    Gabriel would be deeply disappointed if he knew. 
    But she owed Michael a favour.
    And she could already tell there was an evil presence close by. 
    She would just have to keep her eyes open.
    
    ~~~
    
    "So what are your plans for tonight?", Crowley asked, as he sat down elegantly next to Aziraphale.
    The dining table in the middle of the hall was huge and it looked a bit ridiculous to sit so close together. But there was no other way to have a decent conversation, there.
    
    "I thought we could try this thing called pancakes for dessert."
    
    "Whatever you like, Angel."
    
    Crowley called for a butler to bring the first course. 
    
    "Is something wrong?", Aziraphale asked carefully, after he had watched Crowley for a moment.
    
    "S'nothing."
    
    "What is bothering you?" 
    
    Crowley looked around, his eyes haunted.
    "Someone is here." 
    
    "Of course it is you and me."
    
    "Someone else has been here. I can smell it." 
    
    "I smell nothing."
    
    "Well, I do. I think someone is watching us."
    
    "Why would they do that?"
    
    "I'd like to know that, too."
    
    ______
    
    
    Later, it was the early hours of the next morning, they took a long walk through the rose garden together. But Crowley was more quiet than usual. He looked around a lot until it got on Aziraphales nerves.
    
    "Someone is after us!", Crowley emphasized.
    
    "There is no reason for that?" 
    
    "I don't know, angel." 
    
    "Then let's just go back and have a tea." 
    
    "You don't understand!"
    
    "No, I don't." 
    
    "I can't explain it. It's what's it called? A hunch."
    
    "This is ridiculous. You are imagining things."
    
    "No I'm not." 
    
    "There is something evil here."
    
    "Maybe it's you."
    
    "OK. Listen. I don't want to talk about it right now. I have to check something. Let's talk about this later." 
    
    "We don't have to talk about this. I'm leaving." 
    
    "Fine! I don't even like pancakes." 
    
    "Great! I don't even like you."
    
    Crowley stopped and bit his lips.
    For a moment it looked like there were tears forming in snake eyes.
    
    Then he turned around and left.
    
    Aziraphale stood between gravestones and wild flowers and felt more terrible than he had ever before. 
    
    Sitting on the nearby willow there was a dove. It's feathers were a bit ruffled but you could tell that it had very pretty eyes. 
    From the distance it seemed like some of its feathers were golden. And in the shadow of the leafs it seemed to slightly glow.
    
    On a branch close by sat a chameleon. It looked like it had been lurking for some time and it could lurk for a while longer.   
      
    Both animals that weren't really animals shared a look.
    
    Aziraphale walked around in circles underneath the tree until he finally made the decision to go back.
    
    
    ~~~
    
    
    "I don't know what to tell you.", Ligur told Hastur when he stood in their shared office again.
    
    "Tell me what happened."
    
    "They yelled at each other."
    
    "They what?" 
    
    "They don't even like each other.", Ligur said.
    
    "Of course they don't like each other. They are a demon and an angel.", Hastur said thoughtfully. 
    
    "Yeah.", said Ligur.
    
    "Yeah.", said Hastur.
    
    
    ~~~
    
    
    "They don't even like each other.", Uriel said as she sat down next to Michael. 
    The sofa was white. She didn't like sitting on it because it was very uncomfortable.
    
    "Thanks though.", Michael said.
    
    "No problem."
    
    "I don't see why he should like him anyway. Demons are kinda gross."
    
    "Yeah.", said Uriel.
    
    "Yeah.", said Michael.
    
    
    ~~~
    
    
    Back in his bedroom, Crowley took a small parcel from the bottom of his drawer. 
    He was relieved that it was still there. 
    In his hands it felt familiar but cold.
    
    With a sound of surprise, he hid the parcel behind his back as there was a soft knock on his door. 
    
    "Tell me what is wrong, dear.", Aziraphale said quietly, sitting down on the bed, after he had went over to the window and opened the curtains.
    
    Crowley tried not to stare at him. He wanted to sit down next to him, but he felt like he was physically unable to do so. "This all wasn't a coincidence. How can you not see this."
    
    "Don't talk to me like that." 
    
    "I'm sorry, Aziraphale, OK?" 
    
    "I forgive you. I'm also sorry. I shouldn't have said-" 
    
    "It's OK, Angel."
    
    Aziraphale nodded sadly. 
    
    "Let's have dinner.", Crowley said, almost pleadingly. 
    
    "I'm so sorry but we have to do this another time. I'm meeting someone. He has this beautiful copy of the brothers Grimms collected fairytales.", Aziraphale said softly.
    
    "But-" 
    
    "It has these beautiful illustrations and... I really need this book, Crowley." 
    
    Crowley didn't reply. 
    
    "I'm going now.", Aziraphale said softly as he stood up and walked backwards to the door again. "Goodbye, Crowley."
    
    The angel waited for a long moment. But as the demon didn't reply, he closed the door behind him. 
    
    "Don't go.", Crowley begged the closed door. 
    
    He immediately started to miss Aziraphale. And missing someone was a terrible feeling. Just like there was this little tiny ache in his heart.  
    The room still smelled like his angel.  
      
    Aziraphale and something evil not far away.  
      
    He closed the curtains.  
      
    The room was covered in darkness once more.
    
    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about cows, but you probably shouldn't try to sit on them. Just want it to be said.

**Author's Note:**

> So this was a chapter. I hope you liked it. My internet connection is a mess, so there will be irregular updates. But don’t worry, this fic is finished -it won’t get abandoned.  
Hopefully I'll be able to update once a week.  
Shout out to the awesome humans, angels and demons from the discord server tea at the ritz for helping with the pronouns, among other things -but you'll see in later chapters. <3
> 
> Have an awesome day or night.  
Leave a comment, if you like. (I'd be happy about any comment, whether if it as an indepth analysis or a key smash -don't be shy)  
See you again next week.
> 
> -Sam :)  



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